Unconditional Love

Valentine's Day celebrates romantic love. I want to write about a love that is deeper and more powerful. I want to write of unconditional love.

Unconditional love can support and sustain all other loves. It can hold a loving couple together when romance fades and companionship is strained. It can maintain a friendship when there are hurt feelings and all affection is gone. It can cement family relationships when differences in politics, religion, and lifestyles threaten to tear it apart.

Unconditional love is a decision to be made, not an emotion to be encouraged. It is an act of will to love "no matter what." There is no falling into this kind of love. It is a choice and, because it is a choice and not a feeling, it can be commanded. We are told to "Love God," "Love your neighbor," and even "Love your enemy."

Unconditional love is not easy to give. It is most easily recognized when it is given with self-sacrifice. The supreme example of unconditional love is the crucifixion of Jesus.

Unconditional love is not easy to receive because we do not trust it. We do not trust it because we believe every gift has a price, but unconditional love is a gift with no strings attached. We have learned through hard experience that declarations of love can be used to manipulate and subdue, but unconditional love wants only what is best for us. It seems too good to be true.

Unconditional love is not easy to receive because it can lead to a feeling of unworthiness. We shrink from this wonderful love because we know we are not wonderful. We do not deserve it. In time we learn that deserving this love is not the issue and, in fact, we cannot deserve it. We can only accept it.

Unconditional love depends upon the worthiness of the giver, not the recipient. Receiving unconditional love makes the recipient worthy. The unworthy recipient is transformed by unconditional love into a worthy giver, for once it has been received it can then be given.

Unconditional love is the most powerful force on earth. When we think of power, we think of bombs and bulldozers, but unconditional love does not force its way upon us. It can be rejected. When accepted, it has the power to change us from self-centered creatures into sons and daughters of God, bright shining as the Son.

All of Christianity is a response to God's unconditional love for us because God is love. God became human so that humans might become like God. In no other way is this more evident than by our ability to love as God loves. When we are filled with God's unconditional love, and it overflows from us to others, the world will be transformed and the Kingdom will come.

(This article first appeared in The Epistle, the newsletter of St. James Episcopal Church in Hendersonville, North Carolina.)